Between Whom We Are and All We Could Have Been
by The.Beautiful.And.The.Damned
Summary: What if? Nathan had have gone back into the school during the shooting, and found Peyton instead? No Pathan, simply a moment where the two find each other together again. One shot


**BETWEEN WHO****M WE ARE AND ALL WE COULD HAVE BEEN**

**Author's Note: **I was a huge Pathan fan once, but I figured that this didn't really need the romantic edge. Basically, Nathan goes into the school to find Jimmy and save whomever he finds, knowing that Haley is safe in the tutoring centre. In this fic, everyone knows that Jimmy is the shooter somehow, so that Nathan and Peyton can talk about it.

Shout out to Jay for all her help and opinions. Luv ya stax!

**Disclaimer:** Unfortunately, I don't own anything One Tree Hill.

A dark shadow crossed the book shelves and Peyton shivered in anticipation of whatever terror she was surely about to face. The searing pain shooting through her leg prevented her from somehow crawling away, so she held her breath and hoped that the stranger would pass. Strangely enough though, it seems in these situations that fate plays tricks that allow us to never have our wishes granted.

'Peyton?'

'Ah!' Peyton cried in pain as the shock rendered her an involuntary sudden movement, yet she was pleasantly surprised as she looked up at the tall, masculine figure of Nathan Scott, who moved swiftly to her side and enveloped her in a one-armed embrace, comforting them both in their desperate fear.

'Nathan, I'm so sorry,' Peyton whispered hurriedly, tears staining her cheeks and glistening also in the eyes of her friend's husband. 'I don't know where Haley is, I got hit when Jimmy shot the first bullet. I didn't see where anyone went after that.'

'Listen to me, Peyton,' Nathan took Peyton's chin and turned her eyes to his, willing her to understand his own dread in that moment. 'Haley's safe. She was in the tutoring centre, she's one of the only ones with a key, noone can get to her in there. My main concern at the moment is getting us out of here, ok?'

At that, Nathan made to stand, but a bang in the distance obliged him to sit down again almost immediately.

'Or, we could just stay here and wait 'til the danger's passed.' His forehead shone with sweat, clearing virtually as quickly as it had appeared.

'I can't move Nathan,' Peyton sobbed into his shoulder. 'I couldn't get out of here. Before, I thought you were Jimmy, and that those were my last moments. Tell me I'm still alive, Nathan.'

Nathan, who had been gazing cautiously at the wound in Peyton's leg for the last few moments, looked up now, compelled by the obvious trauma his once-girlfriend had faced. Thinking that it could have been him.

Or, for that matter- anyone.

There was a time when they both would have given anything for these moments together. Not that now was one of _those _moments. But when they were together, they never really had the chance to _talk_. There were rare moments however, that Nathan was able to reflect upon in that time…

'_Nathan, as long as I can still love like I love you right now, I'll always know that I'm alive.'_

'Nathan?'

Peyton's large brown eyes gazed intensely back at him, pleading with him for an answer.

'As long as you can still love, Peyton, you'll always be alive.'

It was about two years too late coming, but in that moment, it was just Nathan and Peyton again. Not the cheerleader/tortured artist and jock. But two people who could open up to each other with anything, because for all they knew, they _could_ be the last people they both ever saw.

Ever.

Peyton snorted, 'I guess I'm still alive if I can laugh at you remembering the most important things I ever said to you at the worst of times.'

Nathan smiled down at her, willing himself to remember how it all went wrong for them. He was happier now more than ever, with Haley, but he'd also become a better person for it, and it made him question what kind of a person he had once been.

'What happened to us, Peyton? How did things ever go so wrong?'

Peyton looked down for a moment, wishing that her possible last moments could have conjured a better topic for discussion, but not wanting to spend that time lying.

'_Things_ never went wrong, Nathan. They were always wrong. I guess we just woke up one morning from our popularity dream world and realised that the only reason we were together was because we had always been together, and it was what people expected of us. The same thing that got us into this mess. I guess we were just wrong all along, and it took something like this to happen for us to realise the extent of our stupidity.'

'You know, it amazes me how you can be so deep when you've lost so much blood.'

'Thanks for reminding me! Geez, you make my day.' Sarcasm saved her the effort of keeping her guard up, and Peyton closed her eyes as she awakened to the throbbing tenderness of her wound once again.

'Yeah, well…' Nathan stumbled on his words.

'It's ok, Nathan. I get it. I'm just trying to save myself from being real.'

'I guess that's what we're all trying to do at the moment.'

'Oh my God! I'd forgotten that. And then you were so _pissed_ when I told him about the flowers.'

Laughing together quietly, the pair were closer then than they had probably ever been before.

'Ok, so what about the first time you drew that picture of us together.'

'Hey! You _loved_ that picture!'

'I _hated_ that picture. You were _so _annoyed with me; you didn't talk to me for a week.'

'Well you could have just pretended that you liked it. Duh!'

'But look where that's gotten us, right?'

The truth of the moment was too hard to bear, their eyes parted, and they both looked down.

They had lived in a pretend world for so long that they had become accustomed to lying in order just to live the lives they were supposed to be living. The lives that dictated who they liked and didn't like, what they were allowed to wear, and what music they were allowed to listen to. It was second nature to people like Peyton and Nathan just to come to school everyday, and to attend the Friday night game, and the after party.

It had never occurred to anyone within that circle that their actions would affect so many others for the rest of their lives, and perhaps even lead to their own death. But now death seemed closer than ever, and they couldn't help but feel that their tiny, ineffectual lives were drawing to an end, and that the fault was entirely their own.

'You don't think Jimmy's shot anyone else, do you?' Peyton didn't look up as she dared to mouth the words they had both wanted to say for so long. Her inevitable fear tore at Nathan's integrity, compelling him to embrace her once again, her tears marking his shirt.

'We would have heard it if he had.' The words assured him more than anything, but he knew that Peyton needed to hear them in order to believe it.

'I'm scared, Nathan.'

'Me too.'

'No, I'm scared that it was our fault. We lived our lives like we thought we were meant to for so long, and we never stopped to think that everything we did had some effect on someone else.'

'Peyton, I've never been surer of anything else before, that you're right. But at the same time, we can't take responsibility for Jimmy's actions. We didn't tell him to do this. Hell, none of us even knew he was _capable _of doing this. And I'm sure that with whatever little decency he has left, he didn't plan this either.'

'But see, that's what I mean. Jimmy was a decent guy. He still is. He somehow just got lost in the tangled web of high school along the way. He's stuffed up, Nathan. And he didn't stuff himself up. Lucas knew Jimmy; he was one of Mouth's best friends. We all just forgot him one way or another as we became obsessed by livin our own lives. I feel so selfish right now, Nathan.'

Peyton's unrestrained honesty threw him, but Nathan knew that it was time that he too, confessed his role in the tragedy.

'Then take comfort in the fact that you're not the only one.'

And the least amount of words spoke multitudes.

'We could have been great, Nathan.'

Incredulous, Nathan turned to face her, 'Great? An hour ago we were the worst couple that ever lived and now we could have been _great_?'

A small giggle escaped Peyton's lips, but the moment soon passed as she was overcome by a surge of pain. Recovering sharply, she replied, 'Not a great _couple_ Nathan. I mean that we _could_ be great. People. One day. If we get the chance. I guess this is the turning point for a lot of us today. The realisation of what might have been and all that we could… and can… be.'

Nathan simply stared, awaiting the latest installment of "Peyton: Unlocked."

'I mean, you're married already, right? And that's what most people want for themselves someday. Everyone wants to fall in love. But there's more to it than that. I mean, we all want to become good _people. _You know, the next Martin Luther King's or Marilyn Monroe or whatever, you know. Someone who will be remembered when they're dead and gone. Someone who can leave a good mark in history.'

'Yeah, I have no idea who those people are, but I get what you mean. People are going to remember Jimmy as a monster whether he makes it out of this or not. And it's up to the people who have made him all that he's become to choose what kind of a person they're going to be remembered as.'

'Exactly.'

Silence bridged a barrier between the two as they thought about all that had transpired between them in the last couple of hours.

'So, what do you want to be remembered as, Nathan Scott?'

Faltering again, Nathan wondered what it was about Peyton that made him so bare. He felt his own eyes sting as he thought of Haley, and wondered if she truly _was _alright. And then her realised what he wanted;

'I guess I want what everyone wants. I've fallen in love already, but I want that love to last. I want to be with Haley for all time. I want to make the family with her that I never had. I want someone who I can talk to about everything, and someone who I can be that same person for, in Haley. I want to become a great Basketballer, but that comes after being a great person for my wife and someday, for our children. I want to be good friend, and have good friends. I want to be a great son to my Mom, and I want to forget everything about my Dad. I want to be remembered as the guy who rose above his circumstances, and became all that he could be.'

Peyton mimed a clapping movement, and Nathan sighed. Looking down, and then back up at her again, he returned her question.

'What about you, Goldilocks?'

Well, not exactly.

Peyton paused for the first time. Gathering her thoughts, and her breath, she made to begin her own monologue, but found herself struggling.

'I want… I wanna figure out who… I love… and be with them… forever. I wanna figure out who I… am… and what I wanna do… I wanna be a good… person… a great friend… and someone who… helps everyone they can…' Her eyes closed several times before they sealed.

'Peyton?' Nathan looked down, and realised that her wound had finally gotten the better of her.

'Peyton?' He whispered again.

Standing slowly to his feet, Nathan scanned the library for company. Finding it empty, he squatted in front of Peyton and tried to wake her again, tapping her gently on the cheek.

Peyton's eyes fluttered open, but she couldn't bring herself to open them fully. She was weak from loss of blood, and pouring her heart out.

'Ok, Peyton… I'm gonna go and get help ok?'

Startled, Peyton panicked and mustered the strength to grab Nathan's leg before he walked away. He squatted before her again, and leaned in to hear her.

'Don't… leave me.'

And Nathan realised that he had to take her with him, for she need medical attention, but would probably die from shock if he left her.

'Ok. Here's what I'm gonna do; Um… ok, I'm gonna pick you up and take you to the library door. Then I'm gonna go through and check that the coast's clear, but I'll come back as soon as I leave, ok? And we'll go on like that 'til you're safe outside.'

Stooping, Nathan lifted Peyton's slight frame with ease, and she leaned into his chest and whispered, 'Thanks for everything, Nathan.'

'Hey, it's time we realised who we have to become, right?'

And so the journey began for two soldiers who had been sent to war for the day. Some may call it the end, but it was a new beginning alike, for so many.

They died to all they had been, and started living the lives of the people they wanted to become… the people they now realised they should have been all along.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Thanks for reading, let me know what you think.**

**Gabbi, xo**


End file.
